Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Beauty Aside - Let's Talk Friends!

I love my friends - they really are the best. I know everyone  says they have the 'bestest friends' - but in my case I think it's really true!

They're always there for me, if I'm in a stress mess or really down, they'll always be there for a chat and will help me fix it, or if failing drink it away - If I'm planning a date, we'll always discuss the girly side to it. If I need someone to shop with they're there in a blink. If something happens that sets me back, they're always there with a cuppa - as a cuppa solves everything, évidemment. But most importantly if I'm looking or a being a d*ck - they'll certainly tell me...
In short, they're the best thing a friend can be - HONEST!

This is something I will always value my friends for, is that they'll always be honest with me and if there's someone that isn't, I'll give them a hint - if that fails, they can't be around me. This is partly because I once mentioned that friends can be the biggest help to committing a fashion faux pas... Or in some cases a lot worse.

I've seen it so many times in the past - "does my bum look big in this?" - their answer "Nooo never" - when really a double a decker wouldn't rival you in that! But why do friends do this?

Friends can effect so many things in our lives like fashion, boys and actions... or even just parts of our lives like ego or self-esteem - This is good isn't it? - Well actually not always...

Is this you friend?
I've seen the effects from my own perspective and from an outside view. I've read in another blog a girl say because her friend chose an outfit she likes it doesn't matter how she looks she'll always tell her friends she's gorgeous! - I understand there is simply some people don't want to hurt their friends feelings - but more often than enough they're hindering more than helping. They often don't help their friends in situations or get out of situations in the best way or in the most positive way...

There is just some type of people that see their friends through rose coloured glasses and there is just some that are frankly rather, errrm rude to their friends... There is so many types of people - some that are genuinely your friend, some that aren't - what I aim to do is to get my views out on those that are meant to be your friend, but either lack honesty intentional or inadvertently...

Inadvertent: What I mean by this is those friends that love you no matter what- and end up not being able to see past their love for their friend - lovely I know, but these friends can often end up letting you go out like the fashionista's in my 'Knowing Your Shape' post's or let you do or say daft things, without thinking it through. They're always there for you, but are the ones that put "you look gorge babes" on a picture of you with half your arse showing and you make-up a mess. You know you don't and know it's just kindness, but is it helpful? No, it gives you a false sense of security and you can end up not looking or acting your best - when we all deaves to, all because your friend either couldn't manage to say 'that doesn't suit you' or is like the blogger I mentioned earlier...

Intentional: These are the friends NONE of us need. They're the ones that will let you go out in something that does make your bum look big, because it either makes them feel better about themselves or look better by default.... For example I read a tweet the other day that said "Definitely dieting today after seeing my friends new photo's, I can't believe how much weight she's lost!" - Seems ok doesn't it? Well, yerr, but it seems a back hand compliment with a twinge of insult - to me it screamed, this friend can't stand the fact her friend my be skinnier than her - a bit bitchy?

Both of these seem to have something in common - they will always tell their friend she's "gorge" no matter what, because like most of us ladies it's what we'd LOVE to here. But sometimes it's not what we need. I'm not saying you should be blunt and go "yeah, you look effing awful in that" but shed your concern lightly with kindness - as you can end up seeming bitchy, I know I have in the past - but you learn from it and learn to be a good and truly supportive friend... Personally I would rather be told I don't suit something than end up going out looking a bit - well you know...

Bigging up your besties self-esteem for your benefit or just to make her feel better, may seem like a nicer option at the time, but is it worth it? Is it worth it in the long run? That's what you've got to think about when it comes to those age old questions like "does my bum look big in this?" Also if your the friend that asks, you've just got to make sure you are getting the honest answer, because do you really want a friend that resembles those I spoke of earlier? I know I don't!

Friends are something we all need - and honesty is something that friends need to have with each other, otherwise whats the point? To you your friend may be "gorge" and chances are she is - we all are!- but honesty will allow her to look and be her best - and that's what a true friends should want for each other... A growing nose is not a good look...

So this was basically my second installment of a new series of post's that are a bit not beauty/fashion oriented. Just about things I think about and think should be voiced - Honesty is the best policy (Most the time ;-P) - Telling your friend she looks brill in something she doesn't isn't helping and saying she looks super skinny in a head shot pic? Well that's another argument for another day... Let's just say, no one needs Pinocchio as a friend....

So what about you and your friends, do they ever need a Jiminy Cricket? I know mine will always be the best and honest to me...

5 comments:

  1. I have 2 girl friends, all my friends are boys. So looking nice to them is remembering to have a shower lol, I wish I had friends who would say you no what Terri yes your bum does look big in that, yes that red top makes u look fat, but boys being boys wouldn't notice if I was wearing a bin bag lol. Xx

    1stepclosereveryday.blogspot.com

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  2. This was such a cute post, I have a small group of really close bestfriends that I've had for years and it's so good being able to rely on them, this was such a lovely read

    A little bit Unique

    x

    Oh and I'm running a giveaway, if you want to pop over and have a nosey! Giveaway here


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  3. Aaaaamen! I'm right there with you. My friends are awesome as well - they have no problem telling me when something doesn't work, or when I have something in my teeth, or when I shouldn't be posting that angle photo to Facebook. ;) For that, I love and respect them more than words can express.

    I've been friends with an Intentional in the past - that type is really the wolf/enemy in sheep's clothing. I dropped her -fast-.

    Thank you for your nice words on my blog! I've been following you for a while on GFC but just started on Bloglovin and Twitter. Happy Valentines Day! :)

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  4. Hi gorgeous!!!! i didn't know about your blog so thanks for your coment on my blog!! :) would you like to follow eachother? i'm following you sweetie!

    www.meryswardrobe.blogspot.com

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  5. Do you have a lot of friends at your university that you talk to, or are you talking more about your blogging friends?

    x

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Thank you for all your lovely comments, I read them all! If you have a question, I'll get back to you...